Empty Nesting

The wedding planning is going well...that I can tell. Fortunately, my daughter has taken this task by the horns and is steamrolling the whole process. I am amazed at how decisive she is. I am used mainly for a sounding board or an opinion giver. She is really rockin' it. I am finding myself more and more amazed at what she can do. She has already gotten the bridesmaid outfits and shoes, toasting glasses, cake cutlery, centerpieces, spoken to a florist...the list goes on and on.

I'll admit, when they first made their plans of getting married known, I was not all on board for it. College students, getting married and making it on their own? I was quite the skeptic, a nice word for every cell in my being freaking the hell out. Every time she would need rescuing, I was thinking "how is she going to handle these types of situations living 2 hours away from me"? The same thoughts must have been going through her mind, because in the past couple months, she has been needing to be rescued less and less. She amazes me. I must have done my job well or am extremely lucky! I still wish they had waited a year, but I'm getting better about it.

I, on the other hand, am adjusting to empty nest syndrome more like a cow being lead to the slaughter...yeah...a little less well. As a young parent I remember agonizing over "when am I going to get my life back again?" Irony is a bitch. Parenting has been my life for almost 20 years. Now what??? Lively nights of BINGO at the senior center? ("Did you see that Pearl has a new troll doll as a good luck charm?"), or do I become a cliche of an early midlife crisis resplendent with a convertible car, wild hair and dressing as a 20 year old? If you ever see me wearing pants with "Juicy" on the butt, please slap me.

I'm still knitting the wedding shawl...s..l..o..w..l..y. I'm going to try and keep a journal before the wedding chronicling her past, feelings and events of the present and my hopes for their future. I'll give it to her with the shawl. See, my gift is not the shawl, but my time and effort. You're not just getting an item. Knitters understand this...it's not a quick craft. We deliberate on which yarn will suit the project best in a color we know the recipient will love. We diligently pick up the project and work on it at every opportune moment, stitch by stitch until it takes form. We agonize over mistakes and try to make it right. At some point along the way, we grow weary of the project but knit along anyway even though it doesn't seem to get any bigger. As we finish the item, we almost become a little sad that the process is over and wish we could keep the knit for ourselves. But, we give it away with a glad heart that the recipient will love it as much as we do. Wow. When I first started writing this paragraph, I didn't know it was going to be an analogy of raising a girl!